Crazy
Puritan Sex. (It Happened. A LOT.)
By Sarah Ballance
It’s no secret the colonial Puritans had a rather unique way of
thinking—that whole witch hysteria thing ascertains as much—but crazy sex? It
can’t be! Well, that’s what I thought before I started researching my new
historical romance, HER WICKED SIN. I was WRONG, you guys. So, so wrong!
Underneath those dull, unflattering outfits they were as crazy as the rest of
us (and in some cases, far crazier than most). Here’s the proof.
20-40% of Puritan Brides were Pregnant before
the Wedding
The exact number depends on who you ask, but let’s think about
this. The chance of getting pregnant during a given month is relatively
small—about 25%, even while actively trying to conceive. The fact that 20-40%
of these young brides were with child on their wedding day means there was a
LOT of premarital sex happening. And just HOW it happened…well, read on.
It’s all the Man’s Fault
Puritans expected awesome sex to rock the marital bed—so much so
that a lack of fulfillment was considered grounds for divorce. A cheating man
was most often charged with fornication, the punishment for which was commonly
a public flogging. Women, however, were charged with adultery and could be put
to death. (For the same crime. Asshats.) Anyway, when a woman strayed some of
the blame fell to her husband. In one such documented case, the husband was
found guilty of “exposing his wife to such temptations” due to his extended
absence. The cheaters were whipped and jailed, while the husband had to pay his
wife’s fines and sit in the stockade.
They had Orgies…Incestuous Ones
Group sex was a crime to begin with, but this one has Jerry
Springer written all over it. In a documented case, one woman and four men hit
the bump and grind together. Two of the men got it going and another resisted a
bit, leaving the lovely lady to go at it with her own brother. I’m not sure
what the resistor was doing—probably taking notes since he’s the one who told
on them—but he goes down with rest of them as part of this infamous tryst. They
were all whipped, by the way, except the voyeur. He was merely found “faulty”
for witnessing the event.
Good—er, Bad—Native Lovin’
Every now and then some of the Goodwives extended rather
generously of themselves to the Natives. Some were caught, and some were caught
repeatedly. One wife was found to have enjoyed “dalliance diverse tymes” with a
Native, who was later determined to have been seduced by the wicked woman.
Another wife was fined and whipped—not the same Native, by the way—while he
walked away with nothing more than a new notch in his tent pole.
Gettin’ Down on the Farm
When one finds oneself lacking in virginal
young ladies, willing family members, or naughty Natives, there’s relief to be
found in the barnyard…or so thought a 16 year old servant boy, who was caught
servicing a mare. And a cow, two goats, a number of sheep, and two calves. And
what really got these folks in a tizzy—not that buggary wasn’t a horrific crime
in itself—was the fact not all of these animals were willing females. And it
gets evenbetter! This young man also had his way with a turkey.
A turkey…on Thanksgiving Day.
But that’s not the most shocking buggary story
stemming from the Puritan and Pilgrim colonists. George Spencer was an ugly,
balding servant with one glass eye. He was also suspected of fornicating with
animals—a fact some considered validated when a sow gave birth to a one-eyed
piglet. Naturally this proved one-eyed George was dear ol’ dad, and he was
subsequently executed for “fathering” the faulty bacon.
In a similar case, Thomas Hogg (you can’t make
this stuff up) spent several months in prison for frequent rolls in the hay
with his four-legged friends. When a sow gave birth to two deformed piglets,
the immediate outcry was that they resembled Hogg himself. However, Hogg never
confessed to fathering these poor ugly piglets and the required two witnesses
never came forward, so Hogg didn’t face charges for that particular crime.
Clearly these tales speak for a few—many Puritans, I’m sure, were
as droll as school kids have been led to believe—but if nothing else, this goes
to show they lusted. (Lusted like fiends, some of them!) But not all Puritan
lust was felonious. My new historical romance, HER WICKED SIN, looks at
the other side of desire—one where passion ignites, lies are perpetuated,
scandal ensures…and lives are changed.
And all without a turkey in sight.
SALEM, MA 1692
On a moonless night,
he rides into the winter forest on his beast as black as midnight….
Dashing stranger, Henry Dunham, comes to Salem on a mysterious
errand, but is thrown from his horse in the dead of night and rescued by the
local Puritan midwife, Lydia Colson.
Haunted by her past, Lydia is running from her own dark secrets,
avoiding intrusive questions by pretending her dead husband is simply…away. But
when she and Henry are caught in a compromising situation, one punishable by
Puritan law, he saves her from scandal by claiming to be her errant spouse…and
claiming her bed.
Forced to fake a marriage, Lydia and Henry find their passion
overwhelming and their vows a little too real. As their lies become truths, a
witch hunt closes in on Lydia, threatening not only their burgeoning love, but
her life.
Find it @ Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | iTunes | Goodreads
EXCERPT
“Willard, you beast.” A
round of profanity followed the utterance. Though the stranger’s words
were foul, they offered for his equine companion both comfort and
reassurance. Their soothing cadence eased the alarm from the horse’s eyes,
leading his ears to relax from their pinned state.
Lydia found herself enchanted by the man’s tones and by
his obvious affection for the horse.
He shifted in the leaves, still facing away, and he had
yet to acknowledge her. She should flee. She had freed him from his
quandary, and his voice tinged itself not with pain, but with humor. She
would feel no remorse for moving past, yet her feet did not budge.
If she remained silent, would he not know her there?
No, eventually he would wonder what held the reins aloft. She
watched, waiting for that moment. Through the profound darkness,
she noticed his hair was a nutty brown and longer than that of
a Puritan man, though its richness showed no trace of the powder worn
by many wealthy travelers. He was a study of contrasts, this man. For all
of his finery, he seemed to shun the ways of society, and his roguish
nature appealed to those innermost desires she had thought long lost. Her
husband, as he were, had ruined her womanhood.
This stranger, in the most insignificant ways, had roused it.
Find it @ Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | iTunes | Goodreads
Sarah and her husband of what he calls “many
long, long years” live on the mid-Atlantic coast with their six young children,
all of whom are perfectly adorable when they’re asleep. She never dreamed of
becoming an author, but as a homeschooling mom, she often jokes she writes
fiction because if she wants anyone to listen to her, she has to make them up.
(As it turns out, her characters aren’t much better than the kids). When not
buried under piles of laundry, she may be found adrift in the Atlantic
(preferably on a boat) or seeking that ever-elusive perfect writing spot where
not even the kids can find her.
She loves creating unforgettable stories while
putting her characters through an unkind amount of torture—a hobby that has
nothing to do with living with six children. (Really.) Though she adores
nail-biting mystery and edge-of-your-seat thrillers, Sarah writes in many
genres including contemporary and ghostly supernatural romance. Her
ever-growing roster of releases may be found at http://sarahballance.com
I feel really, really sorry for the animals . . . O_o Interesting research, and a fab read. Thanks for sharing, Sarah, and thank you for coming over today to tell us about your new book. Another for my tbr pile. ;-P xx
ReplyDeleteI just came back to check my link and I guess my comment from before was eaten because I totally remember commenting on this. ARGH. Blogger does not like me. Thank you so much for allowing me to visit and I am so sorry it looks like I never dropped in. (I will stay around this time to make sure the comment appears, lol). I am honored to be in your TBR pile. Researching this book was the BEST! lol.
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