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A pick 'n' mix genre author. "I'm not greedy. I just like variety."

Sunday, 15 March 2015

RBTL Tours: F.U.B.A.R. by Joe King

Title: F.U.B.A.R.

Author: Joe King

Series: F.U.B.A.R. (Book 1)
Genre: Action/Comedy/Horror
Publisher: Self Published
Release Date: Dec 24 2014 
Editions/Formats Available In: eBook and Print


An aimless, down on his luck man discovers a clandestine government agency tasked with combating supernatural evil, beneath the grounds of a mental health hospital where he works; the agency, the Frontline Unified Battalion of Arcane Resistance (F.U.B.A.R.). Getting recruited for their cause, he is accidentally afflicted with a curse, casting the sensible ego aspect of his personality into a subconscious prison, allowing his psychotic id to take over his body. Now this madman must lead a motley crew of supernatural agents, including a punk rock witch, a werewolf, a medium and the ghost of his best friend, and a female Japanese ninja, against a globe spanning, world devouring evil, whilst dealing with the monsters inside his head.

Book Links:
Amazon Kindle
Amazon Print

~ * ~


Taking slow, measured steps down the hallway to the source of the sound he was careful not to screech the soles of his shoes on the linoleum. Dave found himself standing outside of a small counselling office. The eye level plaque read Dr James Carver. Not funny really, oh well. The voice was vaguely familiar to him as it teased his memory. Sounding almost cartoonish, it took him a few seconds to place it. Scooby-Doo! That was it, the voice sounded just like Scooby-Doo. Believing the impression to be the doctor or his guest joking around, Dave carefully tiptoed on the balls of his feet over to the door, tilting his ear to the wood. He could do with a laugh.
The smile on his face was genuine this time as it really was a good impersonation. But after a few minutes of eaves dropping on the comedic accent, he came to the conclusion that this was no joke. The speaker genuinely seemed to sound like that or it was some diehard commitment to the bit. His smile slowly diminished at first, as pangs of shame coursed through him at the knowledge that he was unknowingly mocking this poor person. Finding subtle, private amusement in the antics of recovering crack heads and schizophrenics is one thing, but the visualisation of himself hanging around outside a room to unknowingly mock somebody who must suffer similar treatment on a daily basis like they are a circus sideshow was cruel. His look of regret instantly dissolved into a curious mix of jolting shock and profound awkwardness as the door quickly swung open.

Standing before him, he was greeted by a bemused looking Dr Carver. The doc was about forty, of slight build and wore spectacles that looked like they were held together by willpower and positive thinking. His semblance reminded Dave of the actor Sam Rockwell. The doctor was observing Dave over the tops of his glasses, his brow furrowed and his chin pointing down to his chest as if he was unsure of what he was seeing. The silence stretched for a long moment and Dave was frozen like a deer in headlights, waiting to get an absolute ear full for snooping on personal matters concerning doctor-patient confidentiality. Uncertain on how to explain his action, Dave’s brain sputtered along as it attempted to cobble together whatever piss poor explanation he could for his actions. That’s when his eyes drifted to the trail of thick dark matted hair that led across the carpeted floor. Any attempt at an apology went on the backburner as his curious eyes wandered across the hair strewn carpet towards the bulky figure casually occupying the visitors’ chair. Dave’s blood turned to icy slush. It wasn’t a plucky Great Dane. Sitting there in torn jeans and a ripped up red and white plaid shirt was a werewolf. 

~ * ~

Playlist for F.U.B.A.R.

These are the songs which appear at various scenes of the novel. Unfortunately my laptop has a memory capacity which is flat out laughable and therefore I can’t even download iTunes!! Regardless, I believe the following listing is available on there.

Alice Cooper
No More Mr Nice Guy’
Rob Zombie 
‘Feel So Numb’
‘Rock Box’
Tech N9ne 
Black Sabbath 
‘Sabbath Bloody Sabbath’
Social Distortion 
‘Don’t Drag Me Down’
Robert Tepper 
‘No Easy Way Out’
Jimi Hendrix 
‘All Along The Watchtower’
Curtis Mayfield 
Thin Lizzy 
‘Whiskey In The Jar’
Mickey Avalon 
‘Stroke Me’
‘Hold The Line’
Peter Gabriel 
‘In Your Eyes’
UK Subs 
Skid Row
‘18 And Life’

~ * ~

Author Information:

Joe King woke up one day, unsure of where he came from or where he was going. To this day he blindly stumbles through life hoping everything will turn out okay. At some point, he worked as a janitor in a mental health hospital, where he discovered an obscene amount, emphasise obscene, of hair on the carpet of one of the counselling rooms. Naturally, he became convinced that the patient must have been a werewolf, there is simply no other explanation. Not having any silver or dog collars to hand he decided to knock the idea around which snowballed into F.U.B.A.R., his first novel and the first instalment of the series.

When he's not writing, he enjoys reading books and comic books, begrudgingly trying to emulate the fine work of the talented comic book artists, loathing himself, slapping the bass in a rock band, loathing himself a bit more and playing guitar.

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